We Came We Smoked We're Sorry tells two hilarious stories about when the smoking habit went very wrong.
By Michael R Dougherty
A friend of mine named Jack was smoking a big, fat cigar as he drove along on a busy Los Angeles freeway.
He had been feeling guilty about smoking for some time, so he decided to challenge God... Which is never smart.
"OK God, if you don't want me to smoke anymore, jusy give me a sign and I'll give it up."
Now my friend had a habit of letting a large burning coal and length of ash build up on the end of the large cigars he was in the habit of smoking.
Moments after he had challenged God, the huge coal and ash that had built up on the end of his cigar broke off and landed right in the middle of his lap.
So with his lap burning, Jack quickly tried to stand up as he drove his car over to and down the nearest off ramp.
At the end of the ramp he brought his car to a sudden stop, quickly jumped out of his car feverishly brushing the hot coals from his smoldering lap.
When he was sure he was no longer in danger of going up in flames, he looked up toward Heaven and said "OK God, you win."
Jack never smoked a cigar or anything else after that.
By Michael R Dougherty
John was a college student and grew a beard because he thought it would make him look more academic.
But John decided that he needed to add something to his studious look, so he took up smoking a pipe.
One day, with his new pipe clenched tightly between his teeth, he was walking down a steep hill on campus. Without thinking, he bit down much to hard on the pipe stem and it split in half, then quickly snapped back together on the tip of his tongue.
John let out a muffled holler and began running down the hill with his now stretched out tongue sticking out of his mouth as he tried to pull the pipe from his painful tongue.
As he ran by a group of college girls, he could hear them laughing as he waved hello. His pipe still clamped to his protruding tongue.
Moments later and in a sweat, John managed to make it to the bottom of the hill where he somehow managed to jerk the pipe stem off his battered tongue. He then quickly ran over to a waiting trash can where he angrily tossed the offending pipe.
His pipe smoking days were over.
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